Just as I was despairing of the apparent truth of Ecclesiastes 1:9—“…there is nothing new under the sun”, especially when it comes to golf car-type vehicles, an idea hit me for a blockbuster line of new, very different models. What was this idea? An armored, bullet-proof golf car!
Given the riots and violence of our left-wing friends in such burgs as Portland, Seattle, New York, Philly, and elsewhere, what could be more appropriate than a bullet-proof conveyance for getting me safely around the links and back and forth across town to my favorite course? I grabbed the phone to talk to my entrepreneur friends, who happen to be dealers, when I thought, maybe I’m not the only one with this great Idea. So, I went to the internet and put “armored golf carts” in the browser, not expecting anything.
But sure enough, there was competition all over the place—people who had the idea first and had acted on it. So, in the spirit of the benevolent sharing of great ideas, I am giving you a taste of what my research revealed.
Inspired by the Black Knight
Take for example the golf cart, which was inspired by the Tumbler–the vehicle ridden by the iconic caped superhero from the 2005-2012 Dark Knight movie series. It is appropriately marketed as the “Gotham Golf Cart”. You can deftly avoid sand traps and water hazards as ably as its movie-screen progenitor avoided villains—and the current version can also avoid the villains of our day.
The cart rolls on six course-friendly tires—the rear four are smaller 28-inch versions of the originals from the movie vehicle. Powered by a 6-horsepower, battery-powered electric motor, the cart can reach 38 mph. Gets you around the golf course quicker, and can outrun the fleetest antifa foot soldiers to and from the course, as well.
Its sleek, all-black alloy body replicates the movie vehicle, and a replica of the movie vehicle’s afterburner comes as an option. Vehicle dimensions and weight are 102″ L x 66″ W x 60″ H. , weighing 1,400 lbs.
The design also includes twin aerodynamic wings fold around the passenger compartment to protect occupants from incoming golf balls (and other missiles). Its 4-link rear suspension provides a smooth ride over fairways, rough, and paths, while rear disc brakes provide confident stops. With adjustable leather seats, cup holders, iPad stand, and lights. Special conditions and guarantee limitations apply, says the ad
You can order one of these beauties for $28,500 through Hammacher Schlemmer by calling (800) 227-3527 and whisper the code word, “Batman”.
Another example: Could India’s answer to terrorism be America’s answer?
The ATAC can clearly help golfers get out of dangerous situations unharmed. Following the 2008 terrorist attacks in Mumbai, Indian special forces have been developing tools to help them deal with any future similar situations.
If you live in the suburbs south of inner city Portland but want to get to your favorite golf course, say the Heron Lakes Golf Club north of the city, the A-TAC may be what you need. In the good ol’ days to get to Heron Lakes it was simply a casual drive up highway 99E. Problematic now, as 99E runs right through downtown Portland, presently something of a no-man’s land. But, with your A-TAC golf cart, you should have no trouble.
The Anti-Terrorist Assault Cart (ATAC), built by MetalTech, Ltd. in New Delhi, reportedly cost approximately $45,000 to build. According to its designers, it’s able to withstand close-range grenade blasts and gun fire, and it’s far more maneuverable than most armored vehicles. Unlike blast-proof cars and trucks, the golf cart could even protect occupants within buildings. (You could charge for this service.) While the cost is up there, with mass production, which no doubt is imminent, given what we are faced with in the country, the unit cost should come down substantially.
Also, if any of you dealers are thinking about importing the A-TAC, I would recommend a little softer brand name—something like Anti-Antifa Personnel Carrier, or the AAPC. Just a thought.
Design notes (seriously)
The fully-enclosed, rakish profiles of these two vehicles are also to be admired. How long have I been advocated full, hard enclosures for golf car-type vehicles, particularly PTVs—thus, equipping them for all weather use (and yes, Virginia, it does rain in Florida). Would this feature expand the market? Undoubtedly, but who listens to me? (By the way, I am referring to hard body enclosures, not the wagon-train, flappy fabric type which have been on the market for some time, of course.)
“But I like the open air,” you say? Try that out on 99E on your way to the Heron Golf Club, or from north Seattle to the Broadmoor Golf Club in the south. (Yes, you can find 35 mph roads all the way there.) See what stops a brick flying your way, other than your head.
Of course, the ideal design would be an armored shell, fitting over frame-integrated roll bars, that can be removed in good weather and safer times. Ami I asking too much?
The ideal complementary product
For those who are extremely security conscious, an armored caddy vehicle for the caddy and the body guard could well fit your needs. Of course the caddy and body guard need not wear military garb, but it might help to chase away onlookers and intimidate of malintent.
I was not able to find the manufacturer of this innovative machine, nor whether it has been adopted, as yet, for the use I suggest. Indeed, if it hasn’t, this may be the opportunity for an original product, not, heretofore, in the marketplace.
Note that this vehicle image appears as part of a mieme on a website loaded with satires on a wide range subject matter (not necessarily recommended).
As more information becomes available on this hot market prospect, we at Inside the Gated Community will certainly keep you informed.
Now, every brand or model type has its premium entry. This market is no exception, as follows.
Crème de la crème
Finally, for those needing maximum mobility in dangerous times the Yagu is available with a full load of ammunition. The Israeli firm, Plasan Sasa, Ltd., has unveiled this new battle buggy that it says has armor that can brush off high-powered rifle bullets without any significant loss of speed or mobility.
The company is pitching the design, called the Yagu, primarily for border patrol and other law enforcement duties in remote areas, but it could also offer a security comfort zone, so to speak, for golfers playing in hazardous areas, as mentioned.
The Yagu was first revealed at the Expo Seguridad 2018 exhibition in Mexico City. Appropriately that venue, was in Mexico, which continues to grapple with border security and drug, human and other trafficking challenges. As a Mexican might say of the U.S., “Welcome to my world.”
One thing to note, however, this vehicle is not really a golf cart. The armor is placed over an Arctic Cat Wildcat 1000 4X4. OK, OK, it’s disappointing, but in times like these you can’t afford to be a purist
Contact the Author: Steve Metzger at firstname.lastname@example.org. Or check out our website at www.smallvehicleresource.com, where you will find an extensive database of vehicle models and can make side-by-side comparisons of vehicles based on a full set of specifications.